Grief is one of the most universal experiences humans share, so you are not alone in coping with feelings of loss. It is normal for nurses to be especially prone to the effects of the heavy emotions that come with the nature of their work in the healthcare field.
As a nurse, you may not always feel that you have the space to release your feelings or handle them in healthy ways. It is possible to make insurmountable feelings more manageable in coping with your grief, overcoming tough losses in your professional life, and accessing the resources that can help you heal.
Educating ourselves about healthy ways to grieve can be a vital way to honor grief, whether it’s for ourselves or in support of other nurses around us. Read on to explore the best ways for nurses to process feelings of grief.
Be Patient with Yourself
As a healthcare professional, you likely use the words “self-care” frequently, but they’re probably reserved for patients and their families. However, you deserve the same self-care that you recommend for others. Self-care looks and feels like different things to different people, but it starts with introspection and time — both essential components of showing yourself patience in the face of loss or sadness. Begin by asking yourself some questions.
- How can I give myself the time and space I need to work through my grief?
- What specific strategies can I identify that work for me?
You’ll likely need to spend time browsing available resources, which may include broad strategies designed for healthcare providers coping with grief. You also may benefit from a more targeted search. For example, if your grief is inspired by losing a patient, find resources specifically speaking to coping with a patient death.
The bottom line is that humans need time to process grief. Some are able to work through feelings in a few days, while other forms of grief can linger far longer. Exercise the same patience you have for others with yourself and allow yourself time and space to process what you’re feeling.
Exercise Daily
No one believes that exercise can instantly resolve overwhelming feelings of loss or grief. Yet, people who give themselves the gift of daily exercise experience enhanced mood and self-esteem as well as decreased stress tendencies. In fact, the mental health benefits of exercise are well-established, so it stands to reason that exercise can be an effective tool when you’re dealing with particularly troublesome times.
Physical exercise that translates to improved health measures from increased pulse and respiration, for example, is only part of the equation. Taking time to perform daily exercise specifically while you’re grieving gives you a sense of freedom and the ability to express your emotions and provides a distraction from focusing on the grief.
As a busy healthcare professional, how can you build a daily commitment to exercise? There are abundant tips specifically for nurses — even night nurses — with ideas like:
- Finding a colleague or workout buddy and starting a daily “walk-and-talk” routine.
- Connecting with organizations like Healthy Nurse, Healthy Nation for a sense of community and other tips to help you focus on your physical and emotional well-being.
Feel Your Feelings
Perhaps no other profession has a more intimate connection with emotional labor than healthcare. Still, nurses and other healthcare practitioners are consistently reminded to keep their emotions “in check” or to “manage” their outward emotions. However, nurses who suppress their emotions end up having significant long-term consequences and experience negative health impacts. You’re dealing with death, pain, and anguish daily, and you need to give yourself permission to feel the feelings that result from this in a way that doesn’t prove debilitating to your daily work. So, what does that look like?
Many of the techniques already mentioned — including self-care techniques and exercise — offer opportunities for expressing your emotions. You can also look for support from your peers and even turn to crowdsourcing resources like Reddit to ask for tips. Others are experiencing similar challenges, making them invaluable resources as you navigate this challenging landscape.
Identify Burnout
“The primary concern for burnout is not being able to emotionally take care of each patient individually or uniquely,” Derick S., a respiratory therapist from Nevada, says in an analysis of health worker burnout. While this fear of burnout and its ramification is a legitimate concern among healthcare workers, more attention needs to paid to specific steps for identifying it.
As with other symptoms of physical and emotional health, signs of burnout also vary from individual to individual, making it complicated to define. Top among the most universal signs are:
- Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion.
- Increased mental distance from or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job.
- Reduced professional efficacy.
In the face of grief, nurses experience increased stress and burnout, but long-term feelings of burnout can have serious health and professional consequences.
If this sounds like you, recall other times when you experienced similar symptoms, such as when you were studying for your healthcare degree, for example, and employ the same techniques for overcoming burnout that helped you through that stressful time. Ideas include maintaining a healthy sleep schedule and finding ways to incorporate joyful moments into your daily life.
Keep a Journal
As children, many of us confessed our deepest secrets and made our most honest observations that began with the words, “Dear Diary.” Then, it was a tool that helped us translate our overwhelming feelings about the world from thought to reality. As adults, journaling can still have a powerful impact on our mental health.
Experts routinely share the overwhelming benefits of a journaling habit — reduction in symptoms of anxiety and depression as well as improvement of memory. Scientists back these real-world reflections with research focused on journaling and expressive writing specific to healthcare workers. Journaling is one proven tool that can help with grief, but it’s not a one-and-done approach. In fact, one Harvard Medical School review points to the idea that writing has stronger effects when it extends over more days.
If you find yourself stuck and looking for ideas on what to journal about, check out these 32 journaling prompts for people experiencing grief or loss. Included among them is:
- Today, I’m having a hard time with…
- One thing I want to remember about them is…
- I need more of…/I need less of…
- If I could forgive myself for something, it would be…
The important takeaway is to simply start. Remember that your journal is for you, and cultivating a new habit of daily writing can have positive benefits on your mental health.
Participate in Grief Counseling
Sometimes, we must realize that dealing with an overwhelming loss is just not something we have the bandwidth or ability to do on our own. We need help, and the best kind of help often comes from an expert whose goal is to use research-backed techniques to identify and reconcile feelings of deep emotional trauma that often result from dealing with grief and loss. Grief counseling is just that, and nurses and healthcare practitioners can especially benefit from the resources offered by a professional therapist. The many benefits of grief counseling include:
- Emotional support and understanding as individuals navigate the grieving process.
- Strategies to cope with challenging emotions like sadness, anger, and guilt.
- Grief counseling can help prevent complications such as depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
If you’re ready, dedicate time to finding the right mental health professional for you. While grief counseling is typically available to the families of your patients, nurses also deserve the same access. Simply ask if you’re not sure of the availability of grief counseling since, as hospice nurse hospice nurse Camille Adair says, “When nurses ask their supervisors if grief counseling is available, it helps spread awareness about the need for grief services.”
Talk to Someone You Trust
It’s common for nurses and other healthcare workers to feel like they’re burdening their families and friends by talking with them about feelings of overwhelm, burnout, or sadness. However, engaging your support system may be exactly what you need when you’re facing a particularly tough time.
The benefits of talking through your feelings with your family and friends include:
- Effectively processing experiences and emotions.
- Practical help from others since when they know how you’re feeling, family and friends can alleviate pressure by offering practical assistance with chores, childcare, or other responsibilities.
- Positive reinforcement that enhances your self-esteem and resilience.
- Family support to help you maintain a healthier work-life balance, reducing stress and burnout.
Among the stress management tips for nurses, according to Advent Health University, is sharing your feelings with “professional, community, and faith-based organizations [that] can also provide outlets for sharing experiences.” This can be an especially valuable tip if you feel like you may not have supportive friends and family and can instead focus on the idea of turning to another potential community as a resource.
Maybe you find yourself in a position to offer support instead of being the one needing support. If so, use Vitas Healthcare’s techniques to help the bereaved. They’ll help you with each stage, from beginning the conversation to asking encouraging questions to providing tangible support.
