According to the 2022 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, approximately 9.7 million Americans ages 18-25 battled a substance use disorder in the past year. A substance use disorder is an addiction, and symptoms can be physical, psychological, or both. Addiction is a brain disorder with life-threatening effects similar to heart disease, diabetes, and other chronic illnesses.
College students experience high levels of stress related to their academic performance while also balancing their social, family, and financial matters, which can put them at risk to fall into habits of relying on substances. The U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency notes that college students who frequently use drugs and alcohol exhibit decreased academic performance, often miss classes, and are at high risk of dropping out.
College is a time to branch out, meet new people, and experience new things, but college students should stay alert for signs of substance use disorder among themselves and friends. You don’t even need to be studying at a top-25 college for prioritizing health and wellness to access resources and learn how to identify potential issues among your peers. Let’s dive into how to communicate with your friends in talking about substance use and the support available to navigate challenging conversations.
Become an Active Listener
When navigating uncomfortable conversations with your friends surrounding substance use, communication is key. But the approach, tone, and words you choose are important.
Being an active listener and modeling healthy communication will help you convey both your concern and compassion for your friend. Mental health agency Youth Dynamics describes active listening as the practice of listening to understand instead of just listening to respond. Approaching a friend or loved one about substance use is a sensitive topic for both people, so allowing the person who is struggling the opportunity to be heard in a non-judgmental environment will be a critical step to getting them help.
One of the keys to optimal active listening is to find the right time and place for the conversation. Ensuring you’re talking in a quiet and private area will allow both parties to fully communicate without the worry of someone overhearing.
Addiction can often be stigmatized, so holding compassion and kindness for the person to vocalize what they are experiencing will lend less of a barrier when communicating. You want the person to feel supported and heard, so it’s critical to show encouragement and approach the topic gently.
Getting Started
Active listening starts with you. When having a conversation, aim to talk around 20% of the time, with the bulk of your time spent listening to what the person has to say. Listening to understand and get clarity on their situation will ensure optimal, heartfelt, and compassionate communication.
Some easy ways to practice active listening in your conversations include the following recommendations:
- Ask questions beyond “yes” or “no” answers.
- Maintain eye contact with the speaker.
- Mirror their body language.
- Repeat their phrases back to them.
Respect & Encourage Their Boundaries
Just as establishing clear boundaries is an important communication skill for online students, boundary setting is also a crucial skill for those struggling with substance use. Communicating about clear boundaries can help foster mutual respect, prevent conversations from becoming overwhelming, and ensure that discussions remain productive and focused on support rather than judgment or confrontation. Encouraging clear emotional, internal, physical, and time boundaries will help prevent situations from escalating or a potential relapse into bad habits.
Getting Started
Emotional Boundaries
Establishing emotional boundaries often involves separating your own feelings from those of others. If you’re talking with someone who is struggling with substance use, it’s important to provide compassion and understanding when listening and supporting them while also recognizing how much emotional energy you are capable of offering. Another thing to keep in mind is that not everyone will respond well to your communication attempts, so establishing emotional boundaries can also mean knowing how to disengage from unhealthy conversations.
Internal Boundaries
Internal boundaries refer to the limits we set within ourselves to protect our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. These are often guided by our personal set of values and morals and can also be referred to as self-discipline.
When speaking to a friend who is struggling with substance use, you may learn that they’re feeling conflicted by going against their own internal moral compass. This could include lying to those around them or stealing. Encourage your friend to also acknowledge and uphold their own internal boundaries by recognizing their personal values and limits.
Physical Boundaries
Physical boundaries are more objective because they can be seen and acted upon. These include your body, space, and physical belongings. As you’re communicating with a friend about their substance use, it’s important to encourage them to consider those physical boundaries: What is important in their physical space to encourage their health? One common example is encouraging them to remove triggering substances — like drugs or alcohol — from their home or physical proximity. In college, this might include discouraging them from attending parties where drugs and alcohol might be, offering fun alternatives instead.
Time Boundaries
Time boundaries relate to how much time you can personally dedicate to certain activities or interactions. If you’re helping a friend in their recovery journey, you may need to remind them of their right to decline certain activities and events to ensure they stay away from triggers and are giving themselves enough resting time to recover. Another helpful recommendation is inviting them to follow a routine daily schedule. In these conversations, it’s a good idea to remind yourself of your own time boundaries as well; after all, their recovery is their journey, but you’re there to be a supportive friend.
Understand Stigma Surrounding Addiction
Stigmas surrounding addiction are pervasive and harmful and can prevent some students from being able to access the help and support they need. Instead of being seen as individuals facing a complex and chronic health condition, students struggling with a substance use disorder are more frequently judged and stereotyped.
The range of stigma surrounding addiction is sweeping. Students may fall prey to self-stigma, meaning they internalize negative judgements about themselves. They’re often subject to public stigma, feeling isolated based on negative attitudes and fears. And there’s also sometimes a stigma against substance use disorder medications or barriers in place that exclude these students from access to opportunities or resources. All of these stigmas can lead to feelings of shame, isolation, and reluctance to seek help, further entrenching the cycle of addiction.
Educating yourself on these stigmas is crucial in becoming a better ally for those struggling with addiction. Understanding that addiction is a medical condition influenced by a range of factors — such as genetics, environment, mental health, and trauma — helps shift the narrative from blame to compassion. Recognizing the language that perpetuates stigma, like using terms such as “addict” or “junkie,” and replacing them with person-first language, such as “person with a substance use disorder,” is a simple yet powerful step in reducing stigma.
Getting Started
To understand and break down the various stigmas, you will ultimately become a better advocate for those struggling with substance use disorder. By challenging your own biases and those of others, you create a more supportive environment for people with addiction. This knowledge empowers you to offer nonjudgmental support, advocate for compassionate treatment approaches, and encourage those struggling to seek help without fear of being shamed or ostracized.
You can become a better advocate and challenge the stigmas surrounding substance use and addiction in a variety of ways, such as actively participating in community events that support the cause while also being a part of the conversation to educate others.
Some ways to become a better advocate and challenge stigmas include:Charity walks: Join or organize walks to raise awareness and funds for addiction recovery programs.
- Concerts: Attend or host benefit concerts that bring attention to the issue while supporting those in need.
- Panel discussions: Participate in or attend panels featuring experts and people with lived experiences.
- Educational workshops: Facilitate or attend workshops that educate others about addiction and stigma reduction.
- Social media awareness: Use your platform to share stories, facts, and resources that challenge stigmas and spread awareness.
Use Judgment-Free Language
Words matter. Similar to the stigmas surrounding substance use outlined above, stigmatizing language around addiction will adhere to negative labels and reinforce stereotypes. The words we choose when supporting a friend can have a profound impact on the effectiveness of our support by shaping perceptions, emotions, and opinions on a difficult matter. It’s important to use compassionate, nonjudgmental language to create a safe space to ensure your friend feels understood and supported while decreasing feelings of shame or embarrassment.
A critical first step is to access addiction language guides for recommendations about person-first language and supportive and nonjudgmental words. Instead of referring to “abuse” or “drug problem,” for example, these can be replaced by “substance use disorder,” “addiction,” and “misuse.” This subtle shift in word choice conveys respect and empathy, which are crucial for fostering trust and openness.
Additionally, when speaking supportively with a friend, try avoiding accusatory or confrontational language such as “Why can’t you just stop?” or “You’re ruining your life.” These can result in defensiveness or shutting down. Instead, using supportive phrases like “I’m here for you” or “Let’s explore ways to get through this together” encourages a collaborative approach to recovery.
Getting Started
Implementing judgment-free language involves choosing words that express empathy, understanding, and support. Focus on using neutral, person-centered language that separates your friend from their struggles. Avoid labels or assumptions, and listen actively to show respect for their experiences.
If your friend has already started a journey to recovery, asking thoughtful, encouraging questions can help them reflect on their progress and stay motivated. Consider questions that promote connection, empathy, self-reflection, and awareness, such as:
- How do you feel today emotionally compared to yesterday?
- What positive change have you noticed since starting your journey?
- What little victory are you proud of?
- What’s something you’ve learned about yourself recently?
- How can I best support you right now?
- How have your relationships improved since entering recovery?
- What has been your biggest challenge in maintaining sobriety recently?
- What is one thing you are grateful for today?
- What coping mechanisms or strategies have been helpful for you in challenging situations?
